It’s no secret this blog has been neglected for a long time. I’ve had friends and family inquire on the silence and I always respond with some kind of joke about how marriage is not very adventurous after one year.
This is a lie. Life has been adventurous, just not the kind of adventures that make for stellar blog posts. I casually mentioned my PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) in yesterday’s post as a way to stick a toe out of the proverbial closet. I did not expect this toe to prompt two readers to email about their PCOS and infertility journey.
“I couldn’t help but see your comment about PCOS and just wanted to let you know that my sister and I also have PCOS…” wrote a distant relative. This opened a long conversation about our infertility journey, and provided a rare opportunity to express our frustrations with someone other than our poor husbands.
Prior to this post I have leaked hints of my infertility on Facebook during National Infertility Awareness Week. Each time I go a little more “public” I’m find at least one email from a friend sharing her lonely and stressful journey through infertility.
The feelings relief and sadness when I learn that someone else is going through this are indescribable; I’m relieved to know I’m not alone and so very sad to know another woman is feeling the same devastation month after month.
According to Resolve.org, infertility affects 7.3 million people in the U.S., meaning 1 in 8 couples is struggling to conceive. Pardon my French, but holy shit this is a a lot of women. Why on earth are do we feel so alone? Probably because we are all hiding behind fake smiles and dodging inquires into when we are going to start a family.
Yesterday I hinted at the adventures of the past year; today I will lay it all out on the table. Don’t worry, I’ll leave out the gory details about cervical mucus, invasive procedures and stirrups.
Bird and Belle’s fun and quirky adventures in marriage have been overshadowed by 20 months of doctor appointments, hormonal roller coasters, invasive procedures, and ridiculously expensive injectable medications.
I wish that I could conclude that sentence with a joyful pregnancy announcement, but I can’t. As we close in on the two year mark of trying to start a family we are faced with more of the same. It’s been a long, hard journey for both of us. Especially Bird, who spends his days juggling math and trying to keep his wife from breaking down, or worse, verbally accosting the pregnant passerby.
I hope that by opening up here I can bring a little awareness about infertility to our readers. I hope to spark more positive discussions between myself and other PCOS/infertility sufferers. What I don’t want is ridicule and suggestions to adopt, nor am I looking for pity or prayers (although the prayers certainly could not hurt!).
More than anything, though, I hope to wipe away the dust that has settled on this blog and return to regular posting, because buried under all the hormones, tears and loss has been a lot of personal growth and more than a few hilarious adventures.
If you would like to talk more about our journey or PCOS, please e-mail me at SMagargee@Gmail.Com.