Bird and Belle's Adventures in Marriage

Attack of the litterbox monster


Currently three of our friends are expecting their first child. Actually, as I type one couple, Nick and Shelley Everson, are at the hospital producing their first! No doubt, these are exciting times for our friends and for Jay and I, who swear this child thing is too scary at this point in our lives. Instead, we will live vicariously through our friends while enjoying our four cats.

Last Sunday we were enjoying yet another successful home cooked meal – Japanese Soba Noodles with Steamed Vegetables and Tofu – when we saw a suspicious piece of white yarn appear in the hallway. I had not worked on my crochet project that day, nor was my crochet project white. Instinctively, Jay scurried to my work room and found a skein of white yarn strewn about the room, unraveled. Someone was having a terribly good time with my craft! He picked up the yarn and stashed it away. We spent the next few moments chuckling about our mischievous cats.

The Fermi Cat

On Monday Jay’s round, brown feline Fermi had an unusually upset stomach. After emptying its contents numerous times in various areas of the house where foot traffic is high (ugh) she settled into the lower perch of the cat tree and looked miserable. Evening playtime came and went with an only mildly enthused Fermi. “Oh Fermi,” we said. “What have you gotten into? Fatmi Fermi has nibbled some human food and given herself an upset stomach.”

Tuesday morning I awoke to find Yum Yum, Euclid and Newton bouncy and ravenous as usual. Fermi, however, kept to her nest in the cat tree.

Shortly after I left for work Jay arose and shuffled downstairs to enjoy a bowl cereal. Mid-meal he was interrupted by a suspicious “clickety clickety click” noise. For those who do not live with four cats, any unusual sound must be investigated promptly to avoid destruction. In the guest room he was confronted by a frantic Fermi, running between the living room and guest room looking horrified as what appeared to be roughly 12 inches of once white yarn, now brown and littered with poo, protruded from her hindquarters. “Clickety Clickety Click” went the poo-yarn as Fermi ran across the wood floor.  In hot pursuit of this stinky new toy was Euclid, our feisty and athletic white cat.

With ninja-like skills, Jay successfully separated the two cats. Upon closer inspection he determined the “Litter Box Monster” that was chasing Fermi was, in fact, a long segment of my white yarn. He was faced with two options, neither good: either trim the yarn and allow it to pass the rest of the way naturally, or gently “remove it” himself. One glance at the new white sofa made the decision simple.

Three feet of poo yarn later, Fermi was freed of her litter box monster and Jay sent what goes down as the single funniest instant message yet: “I just pulled three feet of poo covered yarn from Fermi’s butt… Maybe I’m more prepared for parenthood than I thought.”


2 thoughts on “Attack of the litterbox monster

  1. OMG!! This is what I have been waiting for! A blog that gets me crying with heartfelt delight at how beautiful your engagement was and then crying with laughter at how disgusting bodily functions are. Yes Indeed…..if Jay can handle that, he can handle anything a baby can dish out. Even removing its own diaper and throwing it around a crib……:)
    Great words create great pictures*

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