Intentions, Needles

 

The fruits of my first Illustrator project.

As Euclid and I informed you all, my uveitis has returned. This round has left me frustrated and fed up with my body. Why does something I take such good care of fail me? The return of uveitis coupled with some other more personal ailments led me down the slippery spiral of “Why me?”

For the first time, I noticed that every element of my life was suffering because of this mentality. My work was lagging. My creativity was low. My yoga was unsatisfying. My walks were empty. My cooking was bland. My relationship felt stressed. Even my cats were acting more unruly than usual.

Could this frustration with my own body be creating such malaise in my surrounding world?

One of my first Sunday’s at “yoga church” the instructor wrote: “Om Ritam Namah – My intentions and desires are supported by the universe.” on a tablet.

I found this short statement tremendously profound and after class scribbled it on a piece of paper for future reference.  Om Ritam Namah. This would imply that if I truly desire and intend to take control of my body, the universe/world/God/whatever-you-call-it will support it.

After much contemplation I made a decision, no, I set an intention – I would heal. I had been doing a lot of research into natural healing in the months since the uveitis began. I read a lot of what I consider mindless dribble while looking for treatments that were natural, had some scientific backing and would complement yoga.

Acupuncture seemed to fit the bill pretty well – it was noninvasive, did not come with a host of terrible side effects, involved one-on-one work with a practitioner and many medical professionals, scientific papers, etc. have cited that, for reasons beyond their comprehension,  it appears to have a positive effect on people.

Om Ritam Namah. My intentions and desires are supported by the universe. I intend and desire to take control of this frustration and these ailments. And so I made an appointment for 3 p.m. yesterday.

My palms were sweaty as I signed the consent form and sat in the waiting room. Anyone who knows me even a little bit is WELL aware that I am not a fan of needles. I had also made the dire mistake of telling people I was going. I was met with lukewarm or ice-cold responses. One friend went so far as to lecture to me that science fixes people, not Chinese medicine. Now go take more steroids.

I tried to let these statements go but it was hard. The negative opinions swirled in my brain during the consultation making it difficult to focus. At one point I started to cry and then immediately felt anger for being so weak. This was not going well.

After an exhaustive discussion the treatment began. The first needle went in. Not bad. Another poke, and another poke. I lost count around 10. Some needles hurt, others I didn’t even feel.

I expected the acupuncturist would stay with me during the first treatment. Instead she closed the curtains and left me with all these thoughts and monsters. Panicky and negative thoughts. Worries that this was all a lost cause and that I was, in fact, wasting money. The needles were hurting. Surely this would not fix my problems. The needles hurt more. I began worrying about work. I should be editing right now. The needles around my shoulder blades began to burn. Would the needles make me bleed? Were they clean? What if this sheet draped over them made them tear my skin?

I have no idea how much time was spent worrying but at some point a strange twitching deep in my abdomen put the worry to an abrupt halt. “What on earth was that?” I muttered out loud. Was something happening? I realized that worrying this much would likely hinder any positive progress.

I closed my eyes, breathed deeply and tried to relax. I visualized the blood flowing through veins and arteries, carrying oxygen and nutrients to the points where the needles were sticking. The blood moved from the needles to the brain and signaled the release of hormones and messages to my organs. All the bodily systems began to hum and work as one unit, moving towards a common cause – my intention. I began to visualize and focus on this intention.

Gradually the needles seemed to disappear. When my mind strayed a needle would burn. I drifted into peaceful warmth that was not quite sleep but definitely not awake.

After about 75 minutes the needles were removed and I stood in the dimly lit, pale green room and mulled over the experience. Maybe this was the entire point of acupuncture – to learn to shut out the noise and focus fully on an intention. Maybe it is this silence of the mind that lets the body heal. I surprised myself by returning to the front desk and scheduling a treatment plan. If it takes needles being poked into my flesh to learn to turn off my brain, I was game. At the least, it can teach me to create silence and stillness in my very noisy mind. And maybe, just maybe, it will help me to get better.

BBQ Seitan Pitas with Roasted Bell Peppers For My Mom

My mom is a meat and potatoes kinda gal. I am not. Food is something we have never seen eye to eye on. I can’t understand why someone would want to eat a pork chop, and she can’t fathom someone would choose to eat spelt pasta with shiitake mushrooms and vegan “cheese” sauce. What, she asks, is wrong with Velveeta?

“You have to embrace new things when you have this many allergies,” I say lightly. Challenging as my journey has been, I have come a long way in two years and am proud of my progress.

Recently my mom has found herself facing a different kind of dietary challenge – high blood pressure. Rather than swallowing a daily pill forever, she has decided to embark on her own dietary journey and learn to control it naturally. I was thrilled when she told me this. At last! We have food in common!

I’m excited for anyone who chooses to take the leap and alter their diet. When it is my own mother, though, I am ecstatic. I understand the woes of a restricted diet and am so happy that I am able to share some knowledge with my sweet mom.

I have spent the last few weeks reading labels and cookbooks in search of heart-healthy meals that my mom would also enjoy. I must admit that I am shocked that my very healthy diet is not always low in sodium. Much like dairy, sodium lurks in everything, even non processed foods. While a daily allowance of 1,500 milligrams sounds like a lot, it adds up fast and can be challenging to stay within.

Mom expressed sadness at how much sodium her regular bottled BBQ sauce has. “Oh! I make one from scratch that is sooooo good and much better for you! I’ll put together a blog post on it!” Off to the kitchen I went with my notebook in hand. A few days later I began editing photos and putting together nutrition facts and WOW what an eye opener! While this BBQ sauce is better than a lot of prepared brands, it is about the same as the expensive, organic BBQ sauces at specialty stores. You be the judge and tell me what you think? Any tips from sodium watchers on how to further lower the sodium?

Sodium content aside, this recipe is pretty darn healthy and extremely versatile. Bird and I prepare it with the vegan’s “wheat meat,” seitan. Seitan is packed with protein, low in fat and super low in sodium. It is also ridiculously, almost shamefully, easy to make. If mom feels super adventurous she can make this with seitan, or if she is not quite ready to enter the world of veganism, she can easily substitute baked or grilled chicken.

BBQ Seitan Pitas with Roasted Bell Peppers

FIRST: Make the Seitan

Fill a large stock pot with four quarts of water and 1/2 cup low-sodium tamari. This will be the stock that you cook the seitan in. The tamari gives the seitan a bit of color and flavor. If you are watching your sodium intake, you can easily leave this out and substitute four whole cloves of garlic and a bay leaf in to season the seitan.

Sticky blob is forming

While the water comes to a boil, add 1 cup warm water to 1 cup vital wheat gluten. Mix with your hand until a sticky blob forms. Add a little more water if there is still some gluten powder in the bottom of the bowl.

Knead the blob underwater a few times.

Knead the blob a few times and then fill the bowl with fresh warm water and knead the blob under water, changing the water each time it gets cloudy. I do this three to five times.

Small pieces of seitan are left to boil for one hour.

Once your blob has been thoroughly kneaded and your stock pot is boiling, break off peanut sized pieces of seitan and drop them in the water. Let the seitan boil away for one hour.

SECOND: Roast your peppers!

I love roasted red and green peppers. They are ridiculously easy to make if you have a gas stove, too. If you don’t have a gas stove you can use a grill or your oven. To roast peppers on a gas stove, first wash and dry your peppers and then trim the stem down. For this recipe I roasted one red and one green bell pepper.

The peppers are getting closer.

Fire up your burners and plop a pepper on each burner. Rotate them periodically with a pair of tongs until they are super charred.

One pepper is done!

Once soft and charred, place the peppers in a bowl and let them cool off while you prepare your BBQ sauce and slice the onions.

THIRD: Slice 1/2 a large onion.

Thinly sliced onions will compliment the thin slices of roasted peppers.

Slice half an onion into thin strips, then slice the strips in half. Set aside.

FOURTH: Make the sauce.

BBQ Sauce Fixin's

I much prefer my own BBQ sauce over anything store-bought. This way I know for sure there is nothing funky in it, no strange chemicals and I can control the amount of sodium. This recipe for  BBQ Sauce has been tweaked to lower the sodium. If you are not watching your sodium use regular tomato paste, otherwise, hunt down the no-salt paste.

Simmer the sauce for 5 minutes or so until it thickens slightly.

Mix the following ingredients in a small sauce pan and then simmer for five minutes or until the sauce thickens slightly.

1 6 oz can organic tomato paste – 150 calories, 100 mg sodium
1 tsp. Dijon mustard –  0 calories, 18 mg sodium
1/4 cup dark, unsulfured molasses 168 calories, 40 mg sodium
1/4 cup reduced sodium tamari – 60 calories, 2,800 mg sodium
2 TBS apple cider vinegar - 0 calories, 0 mg sodium
3 TBS organic raw blue agave nectar (or other agave nectar) – 180 calories, 0 mg sodium
1 TBS nutritional yeast flakes – 10 calories, 0 mg sodium
1 cup water

This makes about 2 cups sauce. each 1/4 cup serving has 113 calories, 508 mg sodium

Notes about sodium: I am still shocked at how much sodium this sauce actually has. I originally made it with Bragg’s Liquid Aminos, which I was certain had less sodium than tamari. Turns out, I was wrong. So this recipe calls for tamari, the picture shows Bragg’s. You choose based on your needs. Using no-sodium tomato paste would also reduce the sodium considerably. I will continue to experiment in finding an alternative to tamari and report back should I have success.

FIFTH: Finish the peppers.

Rub the charred skin off each pepper.

By now the peppers should be cool enough to handle. Using your hands, gently rub the charred skin off each pepper.

 

Beautiful roasted peppers!

Rinse the remaining flakes off and then carefully slice the peppers into thin strips.

SIXTH: Put it all together.

Using a slotted spoon, remove your seitan from the pot and set aside.

Slowly pour the sauce over the peppers and seitan.

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil over medium heat. Saute the onions till translucent then add seitan, roasted peppers and the BBQ sauce. Cook until heated through.

Not the best photo but a really delicious meal!

Carefully stuff the seitan, peppers and sauce mixture into whole wheat pitas. Drizzle a little sauce over each one and serve with a side of steamed broccoli.

The White Cat Sports A Hat

 

My uveitis came back this weekend and has left me glum and with a wicked headache. I decided decorating cats would cheer me up!

Thumbs

This evening Bird and I decided to recreate last weekends crime.

The fluffy brown cat pictured to the right is my Maine Coon, Yum Yum. Many moons ago, while living in Birmingham, Yum Yum went through a phase where she would push her Tupperware container of cat food all over the apartment. Some days I would come home and find the food on the other end of the apartment, under my bed, or cornered between the wall and toilet. After several weeks of this behavior I had enough and started keeping her food in a high cupboard.

Fast forward to present day – now we live in Lexington with three other weaselly cats. It has taken Yum Yum a long time, but she has finally adjusted to her new cat family and bonds with them while begging for a third feeding, tearing up important paperwork or clawing our new dining room chairs. All these new habits have overshadowed her previous food container relocation habit and I started leaving the containers out.

Several weekends ago I passed by the feeding area and found my brown cat laying in a most dejected fashion with her nose pressed against the food container labeled “Yum Yum & Newton.” “Really Yum Yum. Can you read? This is just pathetic,” I said and picked the soggy lump of cat up for a little extra cuddle time.

A few days later I came home from work and Bird announced, “Your Yum Yum spent all day pushing the food containers around. It was ridiculous.”

“Really? Pushing the food containers around….” It took a few minutes but I eventually remembered the Birmingham habit. “You know, she went through this phase in Birmingham. I would find the food container in the strangest places.”

We chuckled and went about our evening.

The next day I came home and Bird announced, “Your Yum Yum kept trying to break into the Maine Coon food today. She was biting and clawing all over the container.”

“I don’t believe you.” I said. I refused to admit that my little cat could be developing another bad habit. She was on the brink of assuming the title of “Baddest Cat in the Herd” – a dangerous position when a pet owner  feels that there might be one too many cats in the house. “And even if she was trying she won’t succeed. Those containers are impossible to open. I have a hard time with them.”

Last weekend we went out of town and our trusty cat sitters watched the herd. Before leaving I thought it wise to send a quick e-mail alerting them to two developments: 1.) a lightening bolt in the microwave that morning and 2.) Yum Yum’s recent food container relocation program.

“Be on the lookout for Yum Yum moving the food containers to another room. We went through this phase in Birmingham. I would come home from work and her food container had migrated across the apartment… It’s impressive what my thumb-less cat can accomplish,” I wrote.

I then advised them that if she was moving them an annoying amount, to put them in the closet.

This week we received our “cat behavior report” which included general praise, remarks on our cats noteworthy size (size people, not fat!) and then on Yum Yum’s impressive performance breaking into the food container. Evidently the cat sitters came by and found all four cats gathered around the container of Maine Coon food, happily gorging themselves like one big happy piggy cat family.

I was dumbfounded as Bird recounted this tale of naughtiness over dinner. “How on earth did she get them open? Those containers are impossible! Does she have secret thumbs?”

Since then I have watched my cat with a new respect and wonder, “What will she do next?” Yum Yum has always shown impressive intelligence along with an uncanny ability to manipulate people into caving to her demands. She has reacted with growls and spits to people who have later proven most unscrupulous. She has perfected the art of opening drawers, cupboards and even doors. And sometimes her responses to conversation are so dead-on that both Bird and I look at each other, bewildered, and ask her, “Do you understand us?” She will blink her opal colored eyes, swivel her ears and then saunter out of the room as if to say, “You humans are so daft.”

Bouncin’ Belle

Please excuse the poor photo quality here. My "good" camera is out of commission for the next few weeks.

This week I made a glorious discovery – 12 oz bags of frozen black-eyed peas for $1! I stared in disbelief. “I bet they have dairy in them or weird stuff I can’t pronounce.” I fished a bag out of the freezer and consulted the ingredients.

Ingredients: Black-eyed peas, water

I felt like I had just won the lottery. This week did not leave me time to cook my usual pot of dried beans and the thought of spending too much money on mushy canned beans made me sad. These frozen black-eyed peas were the perfect solution. I tossed a $1 bag in my cart and headed to the checkout with zero thought as to what I would do with said black-eyed peas.

This morning I poked around in my cupboard, fridge and freezer. What could I do with these peas… I did not have all the ingredients for a traditional vegan Hoppin’ John, but I did have enough things that I thought I could pull off a decent improvisational meal. Yes, I would prepare my own version of Hopin’ John tonight using an onion that was just about past prime, a can of fire roasted tomatoes and two green tomatoes I had frozen last summer. (I will post on freezing tomatoes soon…)

The end result was absolutely delicious and the entire meal came together in under an hour. We served our Bouncin’ Belle with left over roasted sweet potatoes, however, it would also be delicious with wild rice.

Bouncin’ Belle*

1 tsp olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups Gayelord Hauser Instant Veggie Broth
2 large green tomatoes, chopped
1 can fire roasted tomatoes (the no salt added variety)
1 tsp. bourbon smoked paprika
1 12oz bag frozen black eyed peas
Kosher salt to taste
2 Tbs. nutritional yeast
1 Tbs. apple cider vinegar
1/4 tsp. liquid smoke

1. Saute the onion in the olive oil until translucent and starting to brown. Add garlic and saute for another minute.

2. Add broth, green tomatoes, can of fire roasted tomatoes, black-eyed peas and bourbon smoked paprika. Salt to taste.

3. Cover. Bring to a boil. Once boiling, remove the lid and let continue to boil for 20 to 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

4. Add nutritional yeast and cider vinegar. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 more minutes or until it reaches a consistency you like.

5. Once your ideal consistency is achieved, remove pot from heat and stir in 1/4 tsp liquid smoke. Cover and allow to stand for 15 minutes prior to serving.

Enjoy!

*This recipe is 100% my creation and counts as No. 2 in my 31 in 365. 10 more to go!

WET!

It’s super rainy tonight. This seemed appropriate.

 

Onesie model: Noah Hines

 

 

meet Simon!

 

Simon has amazingly bright eyes! This photo was taken yesterday, January 30, 2011.

I’m really tired tonight, so rather than blog about the amazing meal I made I will post a few photos of baby Simon. The first few are from last night, and the other two are from late October. I’m grossly behind on my photo editing! Simon was born one month before Noah, the little Santa Baby I posted a few weeks back. Both boys are beginning to respond to strangers and other babies. Last night they discovered that they each had tiny feet. It was one of the most adorable moments I have ever seen. Possibly even cuter than puppies and kittens!

Major toy concentration.

Happy suspenders!

Simon has amazingly bright eyes! This photo was taken yesterday, January 30, 2011.

Nom Nom Nom, fingers are delicious!

Late October, 2010